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Trusting

When I was a child, we used to sing a hymn in the church that said,

“Trust and obey,

For there’s no other way,

To be happy in Jesus,

But to trust and obey.”


We were constantly taught to trust in God, Jesus, the preachers and the church. To trust adults who took care of us. But we were never really taught how to trust our fearfully & wonderfully made bodies.


In those environments, especially in the pentecostal church, our bodies were constant reminders about Christian truths of how we were born into sin. How our righteousness was like filthy rags. How only what we did for Christ would last. All without teaching us the BALANCE that’s found in The Divine, through the overpowering and TRANSFORMING Truth of the gospel.


We were taught as kids and adults to ‘do’ like the old congregational song said by,

“Running, running, running,

I can’t tarry [I can’t wait]

Running up the king's highway!”


Songs like these & others encouraged the saints to work, work & work some more! Even to the point of imbalance and exhaustion. We were always trying to please God and His people by subconsciously trying to ‘earn’ our place into heaven.


When I talked about my pain & traumas as a younger woman, I was told, “That’s the devil!” and to not talk about my problems. To “Let go and Let God” heal me (which I needed to talk about in order to process).


That was before we really understood GRACE and before we traded our old church (that both blessed us at times and wore us out in service) for a gospel-centered ministry. It was in the latter settings that I began to learn about deeper spiritual healing (including my mental health—a taboo subject at my old church). I also learned about BALANCE & how to TRUST (listen to) the fabulous cues from my God-created, Spirt-led and fabulously fat, oldish body, while also TRUSTING Most High!


I realized much later the vast unhealthiness of our past spiritual life which lacked lessons on how to walk out our faith with a lens of compassion FOR OURSELVES. With the radical, social justice driven Truth, like Black Jesus demonstrated. Self-care was not a virtue, as it is for me now.


Today, by God’s grace, I have more balance (spiritually, physically and mentally) than I’ve ever had before. So much of that has come through the deep healing work through a ministry in our church called, Refuge—a free healing ministry that’s open to the public.


I am TRUSTING the Lord, more and more.


I’m also “Reclaiming Body Trust®” through a radical movement and practice that helps me to return home to myself. To listen to myself. To trust myself as much as I TRUST my Creator.


After all, Holy Spirit is my guide, and lives where?

In this here body, Honey Child!

Mmhmm.


To learn more about Refuge, watch this video:

Refuge: Healing in Community



Image Description: Splashes of light blue and red in the background, with a white rectangular overlay. The caption in black text reads: Trusting.


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