This past weekend, I had a long conversation with someone close to me. Before hanging up, I asked, “Are you OK?” and “Do you need anything?”
It was only after asking those questions, that I discovered that the person had more needs.
I offered to help them in three ways: 1) By praying for/with them, 2) By giving to them in a way that I could, and 3) By referring them to a couple people who might also be able and willing to help them. These provided possible short term and long term solutions.
I realized that they would not have asked for help had we ended the call before I asked those questions.
Many of us have been taught that asking for help is weak. That being ‘strong’ or being an adult or as we say in our community—grown, means being independent and knowing how to survive all by yourself.
Listen Honey Child, that’s a bunch of ridiculousness.
While there’s nothing wrong with being independent, being interdependent is a much greater strength, for both the individual and the person/people in relationship with that individual. It is a process of giving and receiving—not giving, just to get. It is a healthy way of having one another’s back, in a non-codependent way.
Sooo, let me ask you…
Are you OK?
Do you need anything?
How can I be praying for you?
I may not have the solution for your needs but I am here with you and I’m willing to pray for/with you, at the very least.
Consider asking these or like questions to people that you are in community with. Check on your peeps, Babies❣️
If you think that you have to always figure things out by yourself or go it alone, you don’t. You can ask for help from a trusted loved one, get help from a social worker, talk to a therapist, seek counsel from your pastor/spirit advisor, search online for various help options and resources and, you can even work with a life coach with someone like me!
Another important thing to remember is that not everyone who loves you will be able to help you but there are those who are willing to, however they can. You may have to receive a few no’s before you get your yes, so don’t stop asking.
Sometimes it’s just good to know that you’re not in it alone.
Perhaps the most important thing to know is that even if you don’t currently feel that there are people you can talk to, you can always pray and ask God for help.
Prayer: Lord, I pray for each person reading this blog, that you would provide for them spiritually, mentally, physically and financially. And that you would bless them to be in healthy relationships, in an interdependent community. In Jesus’s name; Let it Be~
ID: Yellow-green background with a white text box that reads: Asking for help when you need it, is a strength—not a weakness.